For as long as I can remember, I have self-identified as an Ambitious Career Woman (capitalization and all!). Set goal. Enact plan. Achieve goal. Repeat. As a woman in corporate America, my identity was connected to how fast I could move up that ladder. I also believed that my extrinsic success was important for feminism: more promotions for the sisterhood! I was a Corporate Boss, loud and proud.

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Then Covid hit. Like many, I was invited to (forced to?) connect with myself in a deeper, more meaningful way, as external distractions were suddenly diminished. I realized that this Corporate Boss persona did not encapsulate my whole self, and my soul desired to explore and connect with Jewish spirituality. 

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When I was introduced to At The Well, the monthly practice of Rosh Chodesh ignited something within me that had been lying dormant my entire life. I witnessed how my body, mind, and spirit deeply resonated with the messages and monthly wellness practices aligned with the Jewish calendar — whether it was the fiery heat of Tammuz or the deep dreaminess of Kislev. I started transforming as I welcomed and befriended this new part of my identity, my inner Hebrew Priestess. 

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Suddenly, my Corporate Boss became burned out, and I had to turn to my Hebrew Priestess for guidance. It was Rosh Hashanah 5782, and I could not properly observe the Days of Awe because of my Corporate Boss workload. However, I did learn that 5782 was Shmita, a year of rest, a sabbatical year that only happens every seven years in the Jewish calendar. My inner Hebrew Priestess leaped at this information, and I knew it was my time to observe Shmita. The universe responded as she often does, and I found myself without a job a few months later due to unforeseeable events. 

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Instead of panicking or hustling to land the next job, I allowed the Jewish calendar to guide me and committed that I would not work again until 5783, eight months later! (I acknowledge this was a privileged position that is inaccessible to many.) 

I initially thought I would feel bored or anxious during my sabbatical without the structure of a job, or that part of me would feel unfulfilled as my Corporate Boss was pushed aside. To my surprise, I found the opposite was true. I loved my eight-month sabbatical and spent my time engaging in activities that filled my cup and brought me joy: traveling, connecting with self and others, contributing to community organizations, and deepening my Jewish practice. Most importantly, I learned that I could experience a meaningful life without my Corporate Boss job. Ultimately, I had the opportunity to reconsider my identity and my relationship with ambition.

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Today, I still identify as an Ambitious Woman. However, that ambition is not solely focused on my career; it is a holistic ambition about all parts of my life. I am ambitious about the quality of my connections with others. I am ambitious about my health. I am ambitious about serving as a community builder and leader. I am ambitious about exploring Jewish spirituality. This identity shift has brought me great clarity, and I'm living a much richer and more joy-filled life.

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I share this story because I know many other women are reexamining their relationship with ambition or other identities that may no longer serve them. Facing this reality can be scary because it is a major life change. Others may project judgment and disappointment, and you may even experience some grief during the process. 

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After undergoing this experience for myself, I’m here to tell other women that taking the space and time to look inward is always worth it in the end — and there may be new, more aligned identities just waiting to be explored. And if you're ready to explore and don't know where to begin, may I recommend At The Well's monthly Rosh Chodesh gatherings? 

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At The Well uplifts many approaches to Jewish practice. Our community draws on ancient Jewish wisdom, sometimes adapting longstanding practices to more deeply support the well-being of women and nonbinary people. See this article’s sources below. We believe Torah (sacred teachings) are always unfolding to help answer the needs of the present moment.

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Sources

What Is Shmita, the Sabbatical Year?, My Jewish Learning

A Year to Restore - Shmita 5782, OneTable 

Brooklyn, the Most Jewish Spot on Earth, Hadassah Magazine 

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