Content warning: This article references childhood medical concerns.

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On the third day of my daughter Rosa’s life, our nurse alerted us to an issue with Rosa’s… output. Her intestines were clearly doing their work, and she’d had several dirty diapers. But the team was concerned by how many hours had passed since Rosa had peed. Was something wrong with her kidneys?

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The nurse was cheerful but serious that morning when she told us, “Her goal for the day is at least one wet diaper.” That day the nurses gave Rosa little kidney massages to help stimulate her system, and left her diaper open periodically to let her experience a pee-inducing rush of cold air. Nothing worked.

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By nightfall, as the nurse wheeled our daughter away for a scan of her kidneys, I was worried. Of all the incredibly intricate unfolding that had happened across nine months in utero, had there been a problem?

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And then, just a few minutes later, they returned. Upon arriving at the kidney-scan machine, Rosa had finally produced the long-awaited wet diaper. Her kidneys were fine. Everything was fine.

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I immediately thought of a prayer my husband had taught me about: a blessing specifically meant to be said after going to the bathroom. It is, in essence, a potty prayer. When he told me about it years earlier, I filed it away along with the other miscellany he had taught me (like that eating locusts is technically kosher). Interesting to know, but I didn’t plan to ever use it.

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But now, I felt such relief that my baby’s little organs were doing their job! From my hospital bed, I looked up the Asher Yatzar prayer on my phone and stumbled over the Hebrew syllables: “…ah-share yah-tzar et ha-ah-dam bih-choch-mah, u-varah bo nih-kah-veem…”

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In English, it means: Blessed are You, Adonai our God, ruler of the universe, who formed humans with wisdom and created within us many openings and many hollow spaces. (Asher Yatzar means “who formed.”) It is obvious and known before Your Seat of Honor that if even one of them would be opened, or if even one of them would be sealed, it would be impossible to survive and to stand before You even for one hour. Blessed are You, Adonai, who heals all flesh and acts wondrously.

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What I was saying was, Thank G-d this plumbing works! Thank G-d this intricate, wondrous little person has been formed with functions that keep her healthy and whisk away her wastes!

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The Asher Yatzar came to mind again soon after, when I had my first postpartum poop: a milestone that can seem pretty daunting, whether you deliver vaginally or by cesarean. From my perch in the hospital bathroom I thought, Thank G-d my body still works too! And thank G-d that there is nothing too gross, too elemental, to talk about with the Divine.

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Have I said the Asher Yatzar prayer every time Rosa and I have gone to the bathroom since then? Well, no. Maybe someday it will be part of my practice: a very regular reminder to pause and appreciate the most fundamental mechanics of my body. But even just knowing about the prayer, and having the experience of reciting it with relief, has changed me.

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Before I had a baby, I’d heard of the mitzvah (sacred obligation) to say 100 blessings a day. Each blessing (called a bracha) is a formula for thanking the divine. A blessing for washing your hands, a blessing before each meal, they all add up. But it seemed a bit overkill to me, honestly, to think of stopping so many times to say words of praise.

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Now as a parent, especially with the privilege of three months of parental leave, I found myself soaking in the small moments in a way I never had before. As the weeks passed I thought, there should be more blessings! A blessing when your baby finally burps or farts and feels at ease again. A blessing when your baby smiles at you. A blessing when your baby outgrows her first tiny clothes. So many tremendous little moments to be grateful for!

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Before I had a baby, I had a fairly clear sense of what I was giving up by becoming a parent, like blissfully uninterrupted sleep. But it wasn’t clear to me all I would gain — including the consistent witnessing and honoring of everyday wonders. The Asher Yatzar gave me the words to name at least one of them.

At The Well uplifts many approaches to Jewish practice. Our community draws on ancient Jewish wisdom, sometimes adapting longstanding practices to more deeply support the well-being of women and nonbinary people. See this article’s sources below. We believe Torah (sacred teachings) are always unfolding to help answer the needs of the present moment.

Sources

How to Say the Asher Yatzar Blessing, My Jewish Learning

The Power of Jewish Blessings, My Jewish Learning

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