Content Warning: October 7 and hostages.

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From the summer of 2013, I lived in Netanya, Israel for a year, participating in Israel Teaching Fellows for underprivileged schools.

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While there, I met two precious friends whose names so many of us know by now — Noa Argamani and Avinaton Or. 

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We met at a rave for the springtime holiday of Lag B’Omer. Noa’s radiant smile in all situations, and Avinaton’s calm care for those around him, made them fast friends. We have stayed in touch through the years, and last summer I celebrated their engagement with them via FaceTime  and I soaked in their happy smiles and loving radiance, looking forward to seeing them soon at their wedding in Israel. 

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I could never have imagined that I would see them next on a video clip witnessed by millions. 

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Although I don’t typically use my phone on Shabbat, I spent the early morning of October 7 scrolling the internet, hoping to take my mind off of feeling ill. I had recently come home from the hospital. All of a sudden the app Red Alert: Israel, which I downloaded years ago to keep tabs on any rocket attacks there, began sending me a barrage of notifications. I checked the app and began to panic as I put together what was going on: the rockets, the breaking of the fence, the attacks on the Nova Festival.

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My heart sank — and soon, messages from friends made my fear even more real. I have frequented many festivals and raves over the years, including the Jewish music festival Sababa in upstate New York, and I’m in touch with many people from this tight-knit community. I began getting messages that people were being killed and kidnapped from the Nova festival and surrounding kibbutzim. I knew that, to my horror, Noa and Avinaton were there.. 

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What I saw next was the infamous video of Noa being taken by Hamas on the back of a motorcycle. She screamed, “Don’t kill me,” and reached her arms out to Avinaton as he walked along handcuffed, beaten and with his feet tied together. I threw up. From that moment on, I feared they were both dead. 

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For months I have prayed and advocated for Noa and Avinaton as well as the remaining hostages to be brought home. Miraculously, on June 8, Noa was rescued along with Shlomi Ziv, Almog Meir Jan and Andrey Kozlov by the Israeli Defense Forces, and they are on the long road to recovery. I am still praying daily for Avinaton to be brought home as well as the other hostages — 119 as of this writing.

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This month of Av is the saddest Av I have ever experienced. In this Jewish month, we commemorate Tisha B’Av, when we fast for 25 hours remembering the destruction of the first and second temples and the expulsion of the Jews from the land of Israel by the Romans. And now, we also remember October 7th, the destruction, lives lost, and those taken hostage by Hamas. 

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It seems strange to be holding such intense grief when the world is having barbecues, vacationing and celebrating summer. Some people do not even know that there are hostages. It is as if the majority of the world just does not care.

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Part of me wants to scream for the world to pay attention, to do whatever I can to bring greater awareness to the campaign to bring the hostages home. But I know that I need to show myself compassion, too, and not take on more than I can bear.

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We will still campaign for those we love and are in captivity in Gaza to be brought home. For this upcoming Av, I will be fasting and continuing to wear the yellow ribbon for the hostages. WheneverI am asked what it is, I can remind them that we have 120 hostages held for nine months, and that they need to be brought home now.

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At The Well uplifts many approaches to Jewish practice. Our community draws on ancient Jewish wisdom, sometimes adapting longstanding practices to more deeply support the well-being of women and nonbinary people. See this article’s sources below. We believe Torah (sacred teachings) are always unfolding to help answer the needs of the present moment.

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Sources

Tisha B'Av Rituals and Practices, My Jewish Learning

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Tammuz and Self-Compassion: How to Treat Yourself Kindly, Aish.com

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New clip shows terrified Israeli hostage Noa Argamani being abducted into Gaza, The Times of Israel

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Israeli hostage Noa Argamani reunites with father after Gaza rescue, USAToday.com

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