As I woke up from a dream I had in the fall of 2006, I felt something I had never before felt after a dream: a sense of immediacy, timelessness, and full-body recognition.

The dream was vivid and real, as if it really happened, and unlike any I had experienced before. Though I had never met him in this life, I recognized the person who came to me and knew him as my father. With my brother beside him, he gave me a black satchel filled with books, and stepping close, he placed both hands on the sides of my face, smiled, and looked intently into my eyes. He told me the books were for me, and three times said that I was now home. Then they turned, and I watched as they walked away.

As I woke up, I had the feeling that something tremendously significant had happened.

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I’ve always been a spiritual seeker, and at the time of my dream I was studying Kabbalah along with other mystical books. Since I was young, I’ve always sensed that there is a deeper truth and “magic afoot” in the way the Universe works, the presence of the Divine in our lives, the agentive process of creation, why we are here, what we have the capacity to do in this lifetime, and ultimately who we are becoming in the journey of our Souls. As I sought to understand the meaning of my dream, I continued studying and searching, asking questions and seeking answers, and following glimmers of insight and inspiration where they led me. I did my best to live into what I was learning and to include it in my work with other women.

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After a significant and challenging move to another state, one frigid winter day I was sitting at my desk reflecting about our move, searching to understand the deeper purpose for it. It was then that I was guided to refocus my business and life’s work to helping women recover their connection to the Sacred Feminine within themselves and in their experience of the Divine.

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I felt, deep in my body, that I was searching for something that was essential: a visceral, embodied truth I had lost connection with. I was searching to experience the Divine Feminine, the Feminine Presence — within myself and within a community of other women.

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As my journey continued, I stepped out of the hierarchical, patriarchal church I had joined in my 20’s.  I committed to the path of women’s spirituality, eager to find a new community on this path. I immersed myself in women’s circles and retreats, searching for what I knew I would recognize deep in my body when I found it: a home.

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Little did I know that finding a community of women where I felt that same sense of connection, timelessness, and deep recognition as I did after my dream would take more searching.

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After years of involvement in women’s spirituality groups and events, a chance conversation with a friend led me to find At The Well online. I felt immediately drawn to the Global New Moon Circles. The long, rich tradition of Rosh Chodesh and the Hebrew calendar as a way to mark sacred time evoked a profound remembrance, ease, and familiarity within me that I had never experienced before. I have now participated in numerous New Moon Circles with At The Well, as well as two deeper learning cohorts that helped me explore the months even further within a tight-knit group. 

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Every time, I feel my soul nourished through learning and discussing again the Jewish wisdom I had studied all those years ago. But this time, experiencing that wisdom through a women’s lens, surrounded by the heart, warmth, and genuineness of everyone involved, I have found that sense of community I was searching for all along.

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As a non-Jewish woman, I have felt especially touched and grateful for the genuinely warm welcome I have received from both At The Well staff and other participants in break-out circles and small groups. Each in their own way is a spiritual seeker with whom I feel a resonance and sisterhood that touches my heart. It’s as if our souls are speaking the same language.

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In a visceral way, I feel that we are more than our conscious memories, known histories, and generations that have gone before us in this lifetime alone. The journeys of our souls are eternal and weave together in an unending braid, from many, many lifetimes, to become who we are in this one. And though I came to At The Well from a different faith tradition, I have felt so grateful to rediscover that the deeply embodied and familiar resonance I feel with Jewish wisdom and women’s practices is a part of the eternal braid of my soul.

I still remember the dream I had those years ago. When I go deep within my body and settle into the stillness inside, I feel the same timelessness and deep recognition. I see the same wise, smiling, loving face, and hear again the words, “You are home.”

Yes, after 18 years, I am finally home.

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At The Well uplifts many approaches to Jewish practice. Our community draws on ancient Jewish wisdom, sometimes adapting longstanding practices to more deeply support the well-being of women and nonbinary people. See this article’s sources below. We believe Torah (sacred teachings) are always unfolding to help answer the needs of the present moment.

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Sources

At The Well Global New Moon Circles

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